Ablogination

Just bored, so I thought I’d write about the most boring local primaries on earth, with the possible exception of Guam.
The following information was found at the Kingsport Times News

As of Tuesday afternoon, the following candidates had filed petitions for the following races with the Election Commission:

County mayor

• Incumbent Steve Godsey (filed for Republican primary)

• Mark Vance (filed for Republican primary)

The questions voters must ask themselves are:

Q:What has Steve Godsey done for Sullivan county?
A:Nothing.

Q:How is Mark Vance any different from Godsey?
A:He’s not.

County trustee

• Incumbent Frances Harrell (filed for Democratic primary)

• Peggy Bridgeman Campbell (filed for Republican primary)

Q: Has Frances Harrell performed her duties well or not?
A: Harrell has performed flawlessly

Q: Who is Peggy Campbell?
A: Who cares?

County clerk

• Incumbent Jeanie Gammon (filed for Democratic primary)

• Jim Holcomb (filed for the Republican primary)

Q: Has Jeanie Gammon performed her job well?
A: She is the greatest. If you have encountered her, she helped you out in some way.

Q: Who is Jim Holcomb?
A: One of John Gregory’s Taliban scumbags who has no business serving in an official capacity. I wouldn’t elect a Jesus-Pimping dirtbag like Holcomb to be a judge on American Idol. Much less a civil servant.
Electing Holcomb would be like electing David Davis.
Holcomb is the personification of the John Gregory extreme Right Wing (aka Bristol Taliban)’s efforts to remain relevant in the local political scene.
Other notable members of the BT are wannabe Speaker of the House Jason Mumpower and Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey.

If it’s John Gregory, it’s wrong.

Register of deeds

• Incumbent Mary Lou Duncan (filed for the Democratic primary)

• Bart Long (filed for the Republican primary)

Q:Has Duncan performed her duties well?
A:All the deeds are registered.

Q:Why is Bart Long a Republican?
A: Probably because there’s no Libertarian party in the area.
Bart Long is not a bad guy at all. But having a person who makes their living on real estate running the Deeds Dept. sounds a little conflicting.

Duncan should remain.

Commissioner of highways

• Incumbent Allan Pope (filed for the Republican primary)

Q:Why do our highways look like shit since Pope was last elected?
A:Typical Republican inaction. If you think one or two new lights on 11W makes up for the decaying shoulders and potholes you’re sadly mistaken.

If Pope has a plan for our end of the 100% Stimulus Highway Money TDOT is getting, he should speak out. The proper use of these funds could sway a vote or two.

County attorney

• Incumbent Dan Street (filed for the Republican primary)

Q:How has Dan Street handled his job thus far?
A:He has remained on the intelligent side of the “how the Hatch Act effects the county” argument.

County sheriff

• Incumbent Wayne Anderson (filed for Republican primary)

• David Steadman (filed for Republican primary)

• John Taylor (filed for Democratic primary)

Q:What kind of job has Wayne Anderson done as Sheriff?
A:A hearty mix of stupid, dishonest yet practical.

This one is tough. Wayne Anderson is an ass, no question about it. I have personally seen him come through the Felony cells at the main jail, moments ahead of the press, and tell inmates to pick their mattresses up off the floor and hide them under the mattresses on the bunks so the inhumane conditions of his jail aren’t so obvious.

At the same time, John Taylor (Democrat) made the statement that “Anderson’s drug arrests are way down". That makes Taylor a scary candidate (see jack-booted, third-eye-blind Drug War advocate).
We don’t need a drug crusader running around busting our kids for smoking pot and costing us mountains of money just to put them on probation and accomplish basically nothing. Especially since all applicable science proves that incarceration does nothing to rid the community of drugs or stop people from catching a buzz.
Anderson may, by virtue of experience, understand this.
Taylor seems to be unaware that Attorney General Eric Holder said that the Drug War was over. He is fear-mongering. That is a sure sign of a fool running for office.

Don’t know much about Steadman. We’ll see….

Circuit court clerk

• Incumbent Tommy Kerns (filed for the Republican primary)

Q:Do we know anything about Kerns?
A:No.

County Commission District 1 (one seat)

• Incumbent Randy Morrell (filed to run as an independent)

Q:Independent from what?
A:Good luck on ever getting an answer.

County Commission Disrict 2 (three seats)

• Incumbent Cathy Armstrong (filed for the Republican primary)

• Incumbent Buddy King (filed to run as an independent)

• Bryan Boyd (filed for the Republican primary)

Q:Who cares?
A:Who cares??

County Commission District 3 (one seat)

• Bob Neal (filed for the Republican primary)

Q:Hey, are you Bob Neal or is that just what you do?
A: Ok, ok I couldn’t resist. This is really getting boring. Sorry.

County Commission District 4 (three seats)

• Incumbent Linda Brittenham (filed to run as an independent)

• Incumbent Dennis Houser (filed to run as an independent)

• Ed Marsh (filed for the Republican primary)

• Billy J. Phillips (filed to run as an independent)

County Commission District 5 (two seats)

• Charles D. Phelps (filed for the Republican primary)

• Marvin Hyatt (filed to run as an independent)

County Commission District 6 (three seats)

• Incumbent Terry Harkleroad (filed for the Republican primary)

• Dean Harris (filed for the Republican primary)

• Matthew J. Johnson (filed for the Republican primary)

• Rodger K. Jones (field to run as an independent)

• Dewey Wayne Shaffer (filed to run as an independent)

County Commission District 7 (two seats)

• Baxter Hood (filed for the Republican primary)

County Commission District 8 (two seats)

• Incumbent Darlene Calton (filed for the Republican primary)

• Joshua K. Russell (filed for the Republican primary)

County Commission District 9 (two seats)

• Incumbent O.W. Ferguson (filed for the Republican primary)

• Incumbent Wayne McConnell (filed to run as an independent)

County Commission District 10 (two seats)

• Incumbent Bill Kilgore (filed for the Republican primary)

• Charlie Anderson (filed to run as an independent)

• John Crawford (filed for the Republican primary)

• Gary R. Free (filed for the Republican primary)

County Commission District 11 (three seats)

• Incumbent Clyde Groseclose (filed to run as an independent)

• Incumbent Joe Herron (filed for the Republican primary)

• John T. Gardner (filed for the Republican primary)

• Archie Pierce (filed for the Republican primary)

Party primaries are in May. The general election is in August.