Citizen of the Month

Now, accidents happen. No doubt. Sometimes the timing just screws you up and there's not much you can do. You look at the stereo for a split second and in that same split second, the other guy did the same thing and you wreck. Shit happens, that's a fact.....

The real question is, Why do some people seem intent on causing an accident? What ever happened to commuter courtesy? Respect for other drivers on the road?
There are still plenty of people that drive like they DON'T have their head up their ass, but here in Bristol, of all the places I've ever lived, there is a remarkably large amount of people that for whatever reason cannot seem to get it. Driving is so easy, and often a pleasurable experience. At least until the you encounter The Idiots.

On only two occasions in my life have I seen worse displays of driving than I have right here at home. When I lived in the then still developing United Arab Emirates, I used to revel in watching Pakistani taxi drivers run into each other, run off the road, run over anything in their path. They only had cars there for about four years when I was there. Just imagine thousands of three year olds on giant Big Wheels...thus was the Pakistani Taxi Driver of Abu Dhabi.

Then there was Tijuana, Mexico. The word for "STOP" in Mexico is "ALTO". Either Tijuana Mexicans can't read, or all the drivers there are blind. No one in Tijuana has ever stopped at a stop sign. I can't figure out why the Mexican gov't even bothers to pay for the signs. Just take them down, nobody bothers anyway and there's still a wreck on every corner.

Then there was Southern California in the early Ninties. Cell Phones had just gone compact. There were so many accidents caused by goofballs arguing with their wives while driving, California was forced to outlaw the use of cell phones while driving.

Unfortunately, we seem to have our fair share of "Pakistani Taxi Drivers", "Tijuana Mexicans", and "Cell Phone Goofballs" right here in beautiful Bristol.

Time for a little Driver's Ed:

1) Hang up and drive, moron. I have seen you people that have cell phones glued to your empty heads cause other drivers to run off the road and you never even realized what you did. The last time I saw some bozo nearly cause a wreck the bozo was a cop. He was running his motor-mouth so much he caused another driver to come to a screeching halt and never once even looked back. Didn't even notice. And can't you young ladies shut your ever-running fly traps long enough to get from point A to point B? You're going to get yourself or someone else killed. Get a Blue Tooth, or some super glue! Have the fucking thing molecularly bonded to your ear or some shit! Just keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the living beings in front of you. It's not a video game.

2) Stop rounding off your turns! What kind of moron can't pull up to an intersection, apply the brake a little, actually move their arms so that the steering wheel turns, and make a turn without ripping someone's quarter panel off? Do you know how stupid you look?!
One idiot in the Fairmont area, as I pulled up to the stop sign and actually stopped, had to slam on his breaks, stop, maneuver around my car and out of my lane and go around. Just to make a simple left turn on a surface street.
Then this fucking clown gave me a dirty look as though I was the one driving in the wrong lane. It happens too often. Even the Pakistani Taxi Driver is smarter than that.
Quit rounding off your turns! Rude, discourteous, hap-hazard lazy bastard!

3) The sign says "STOP". Do you speak English? Can you read? If you managed to make it past My Pet Goat and See Spot Run, you should know what the word "STOP" means. It's painted right there on those big, red, octo-shaped signs that often appear at smaller intersections. They're called "STOP" signs, Joe Bob. They're there to keep vehicles from slamming into other vehicles. Sound fair? Does that make any fucking sense to you, you complete and total half-wit?! Then, these buffoons get mad at you because you don't run the stop sign too!
Are you from America or from Tijuana? It's hard to tell because you look American but drive Tijuana Mexican!
Stop signs are in our neighborhoods to protect our children, pets and others from fucking tire-spinning morons that shouldn't be allowed to ride anything other than a fucking bus!!

Now, for those of us that pull over to talk on the phone, actually stop at stop signs, aren't to lazy and stupid to move our arms and turn the wheel, and actually make an effort to show people some basic respect while driving...I salute you.

As for Mr., Miss, and Mrs. Tijuana-Pakistani-No drivin' Cell Phone Air-Head...For all you do, this blog's for you.

Wow, that felt good.