High Witness Report

It’s amazing. The sheer stupidity of the average anti-Marijuana assclown has never ceased to render me aghast. The sheer ignorance and unequaled hypocrisy is mind boggling to say the least.

Will the liars ever stop lying? Will the idiots ever stop whining? Will the hypocrite ever find the common decency to leave good people alone?

He won eight Gold medals for his country. More than any anti-Marijuana jackass has ever achieved. Yet the great Olympian, Mike Phelps, is now the target of the Right Wing Smear Machine. The Right, it seems, abhors a great athlete as much as it does a great mind or a great soldier.

Our Hero

Some fucktard from a worthless British tabloid rag called “News of the World", or something like that, supposedly took a picture of someone who appeared to be Phelps doing some bong loads at a party in Columbia, S.C.
Now, the Right Wing Pigs and other various and assorted asspipes are treating the poor kid like he just killed someone.
So, under pressure, Mikie went public and offered the customary (we understand, Mike) role-model-gone-bad apology.
We just want to make a few points because this is the kind of thing that really pisses us off.

1) Mike, you’ve done nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. We don’t much care how many kids know you smoked pot and care even less how many idiot politicians, talking heads, or authority figures don’t like it. You have a right to your private life and you should take the Ricky Williams/Todd Marinovich stand and tell Righty to get fucked. But we understand if you don’t.

2) The President of the United States smoked pot. So all the nay-sayers can blow goats.

3) I wonder how many of those attacking Phelps go to the club at night, get drunk and drive home.

4) You should be glad it wasn’t Heroin. But even that would be his business and not yours, dipshits.

5) The time has come to stop persecuting good people, in this case a national treasure, for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Keep one thing in mind, Mike. You’re a Pot Head, and like most of us, better at what you do than those who aren’t.
Thanx for the grand way you’ve represented your country in success and humility. You are truly a champion we can take great pride in.
And we will no doubt take pride in you and your future successes. Since Pot is only banned, according to the 2009 World Anti-Doping Code which governs Olympic drug-testing, during competition.

You’re solid Gold to us, Mikie. Acapulco Gold for that matter.

Don’t change.